how not to be a jerk at the airport

As a fairly seasoned flier, I sometimes find it difficult not to get frustrated with my fellow travelers.  I usually try to make sure that I’m helpful and polite with most people, but there are a few types that drive. me. insane.

So today, I’m sharing a few types of travelers you should definitely NOT aim to be. Am I perfect? Hardly! But I’m calling out the repeat offenders – and you know who you are!

the rebels

I have only recently learned the art of the carry-on bag. In fact, it’s freaking liberating to NOT have to worry about checking a bag and traveling light. It’s taken me a while to get to that point (I’m a hopeless over-packer), but carry-on’s should be small, light, and easy to store.

So, let me just say, when I see you rolling your big ass suitcase that is most definitely too big to fit into the overhead bins…it makes my blood boil. I genuinely don’t care if you eeked it through security. If that bin isn’t going to close, you’re going to have to gate check that damn thing anyway. Yes, there are exceptions (super quick connections, medical equipment, etc.), but if you’re just being lazy and inconsiderate about going to baggage claim...just, no.

You should also be courteous to other passengers and limit your carry-on’s to two pieces. Some airlines have a rule. This is just one I subscribe to. There is limited space on airplanes and everyone deserves a little piece of it. It’s not just for you and your belongings.

the newbies

I catch some flack for this one, but that’s okay. Hear me out. I’m not knocking the people who don’t travel as frequently as I do. There are sometimes I space out and forget to take off my cardigan at security. There have been times when my identification has fallen to the bottom of my bag and there’s a massively long line behind me. Yes. I’ve been that asshole before. However, I literally just got behind a passenger with no identification whatsoever. For real? Yep. Seriously.

However, if you’re a new or infrequent traveler, be sure to read up on the requirements before going to the airport. Most TSA checkpoints are great about posting signs, making loudspeaker announcements, and informing passengers about their requirements verbally. Honestly, most passengers are willing to help each other out. But ultimately, it’s your responsibility to read up on travel procedures before your flight.

the space hogs

As I’m sitting in the airport typing this blog, I am looking at a man who is sleeping. However, instead of keeping himself confined to his own space, he is stretched between two adjacent seats, with his feet propped up on one. O. M. G!!! Are you for real? This isn’t your mama’s house! This man’s nasty, who-knows-what-he’s-stepped-in feet are on a chair where someone needs to sit. STAHHHP!

Also on the list? The armrest hogs. There is generally always one shared armrest. Notice, I said shared. Just like kindergarten, you can’t hog all of the armrests. Come to think of it, this goes for leg space, too.

the bubble dwellers

Ever notice the people who line up 30 minutes before a flight? Or the people who stand up the minute a plane lands? Or the ones who stop in front of your to check their cell phones. DO. NOT. BE. THAT. PERSON. It's understandable to be slightly self-absorbed. However, if you're just worried about yourself and the fact that you need to get where you're going, you're going to piss off a lot of fellow passengers. We're all going the same damn place. Slow your roll. If you have a short connection, at least let your fellow passengers know - most of them are going to be willing to help you out.

the public speakers

On the flight here, I almost lost my shit on some stupid college girl. She was on the phone the entire time we were waiting on our plane to board. If her conversation were an acceptable volume, this wouldn’t have been an issue. However, I got to hear about how her roommate Nicole’s mom paid $1600 for hotel rooms for graduation. She said the name Nicole no fewer than 17 times. Yes, I counted. Additionally, did you know that she is SO upset that her campus job just does not understand that she has a summer internship at the FBI (which is not, in fact, in DC, but at Quantico)? I love my cell phone. But I don’t feel the need to share my conversations with everyone around me. Lower your voice and limit your conversations when you’re in a shared space.

the fit thrower

Flying can be a pain in the ass and it’s easy to get frustrated by delays, cancellations, and other headaches. However, acting like a toddler whose favorite toy was taken away is not the way to act. I’ve seen grown men and women scream at ticket counter agents, flight attendants, and other airport staff. Surprisingly enough, the most recent one was a parent who was pissed that she couldn’t bring 5 carry-on’s. Need more tips on being a better traveler and not lose your shit? Read this blog.

the slouch

Call me old school, but I am not of fan of today’s fashion trends. I love my yoga pants and sweatshirts as much as the next girl, but I also know that this isn’t appropriate clothing to fly. I understand the desire to be comfortable. However, if you looked like you just got up after a long night of partying, I happily admit to judging you. There are plenty of comfortable clothing options available for you to travel in. Leave your house shoes at home, please. Also, it would be great if you showered and brushed your teeth prior to your flight. You know. Because of enclosed shared spaces and all.

Am I being a Judgy Judy? More than likely. However, I think it all comes down to being respectful, courteous, and aware of how your actions might affect others.